Reality Check!

In July 2003 I took the bar exams in Pennsylvania and New Jersey and thought at the time that it was definitely the most difficult exam I'd ever taken - and probably ever would... So happy was I to have it behind me. However, not to let good enough alone, I've always since then wanted to get another admission somewhere. So, in April of this year, I moved back to Utah, where I'm from originally, to take the bar exam here. I applied in time for the late admission deadline and subsequently enrolled in the Utah barbri course. Looking forward to taking another bar exam, I was quick to drop the money on both the exam application fee and the the course (combined over $2,700.00).
Today I received, via FEDEX, the books for the study course... REALITY SET IN
Let me put this in perspective... the box weighed 35 pounds and contained 10 oversized books. At first I was excited about the prospect of studying. My excitement wore off quickly as I cracked the books and began to peruse their contents... much of this stuff I've not even thought of in the last five years, let alone retained any workable knowledge of it.
Now I ask myself if my desire to take another bar exam was just a passing whim or if I'm in it for real... am I that fickle?